gtav first person

Surprise! There’s a new Call of Duty this year. Surprise! It’s Black Ops III. Surprise! I don’t actually know what surprise means. But neither does Activision apparently, so I guess it’s okay.

Look for a full reveal on April 26, if you’re interested. Otherwise, here’s a teaser trailer:

In more interesting teaser news, Age of Empires II is getting a new expansion. Yes, an expansion for a game that released sixteen years ago.

Age of Empires II Teaser

This will actually be the second Age of Empires II expansion released in the modern era, after The Forgotten released alongside Age of Empires II HD Edition in 2013. According to the announcement post this week, the new expansion will include “new civilizations, campaigns, game modes, units, and more.” Also, camel archers.

My one wish: That the campaigns receive a bit more polish than those in The Forgotten, which were none too impressive in comparison to the original Age of Empires II campaigns.

Save some for E3, why don’t ya?

On top of Square Enix’s Deus Ex: Mankind Divided reveal this week, there’s yetanother Square Enix reveal apparently scheduled for Monday, April 13 (viaDualShockers). All we’ve got so far is this cryptic half-message:

Square Enix Teaser

Ace of Spades

And for one last, informal reveal this week: Chef Joe Youkhan posted a photo today to Instagram of him standing in a half-pipe, catering at a Tony Hawk event. Oh, and there’s a big ol’ Tony Hawk 5 logo in the background.

Tony Hawk 5

But do we need it?

Now that Furious 7 is out and I’m facing an interminable wait for Furi8s or whatever it ends up being called, there’s just not enough speed or anger in my life.

Luckily(?) Variety reports that EA is in the planning stages for a sequel to last year’sNeed for Speed movie, which wasn’t great but was sort of like…knock-off Fast and Furious. Except with Aaron Paul looking moody for most of the film.

Sure, I’d go see another.

Like Chuck E Cheese

As of this week, you can now pay for your World of Warcraft subscription with in-game gold if you’ve got a ton lying around: The new “token” system, revealed in March, is now in place. Tokens cost either $20 real-world money or 30,000 gold, so if you’ve been stockpiling for ages the game is effectively now free for you to play.

Enormous Theft Auto

That PC version of Grand Theft Auto is so close I can almost lick my hard drive and taste it. Hopefully you’ve got the Internet bandwidth to download its 65GB of glory, though—otherwise, looks like you’ll be stuck installing off seven discs (according toan image posted on Reddit). That’s the most ridiculous install I’ve heard of sinceBaldur’s Gate and its expansion came on six CD-ROMs.